Unexpected Tosses



Who knew that Panda Express fortune cookies could mean so much?

Lately, there have been a series of unexpected situations thrown my way. So, once I opened this fortune cookie and found this message, I was almost in disbelief. I know fortune cookies are supposed to have encouraging messages and insightful sayings that are supposed to sound wise. Most of them typically sound like this: "Fortune Shall Come Your Way" or "You Will Find Lost Treasure". Well, I sure haven't found any treasure. But maybe, silly as it sounds, the fortunes that we get aren't to be taken as literally as some people take them. Maybe I really did find lost treasure somewhere. Treasure that someone else valued at one point, but now it is my turn to value IT. I am sure somewhere down the line that fortune did come my way, but not in the form of money or material things. Truth is, unexpected situations happen to everyone. But lately, I have been feeling like so many unexpected random things have happened to me.

· Falling down the stairs and ripping a brand new pair of pants and skinning off the whole top layer of my knee.

· Not having any band aids after the fall, and having to walk around Kmart with a bloody knee looking for any ol' box of band aids. (probably looking pretty ridiculous to the cashier who helped me)

· Not being able to start my car because of a corroded battery cable.

· Friendships that I was always so sure of that recently no longer exist.

· Certain people that I 'thought' I knew that turned into something completely different.

· Dropping my phone in water.

It can't be possible that all these things are completely random. Me falling down the stairs, although I would LOVE to claim that as random, really isn't because I am secretly a huge klutz. Not having any band aids, not random, they just hadn't been purchased on the last grocery list. My car not starting because of the battery cable, completely my fault because I have lacked the motivation to go and buy a new one after it happening several times before that. Dropping my phone in water, well, that was my fault too. I shouldn't have had it close enough for that to happen in the first place.

We would all love to claim some of our ignorance’s or laziness as random, but the truth is; all of them can't be. As for failing friendships and changes of that nature, those aren't random either. Those happen when life stages change in different directions by the choices that we have made.

So, when I found this fortune, I felt reassured in a way. Like maybe things may start to look up. But the thing is, I can't let the unexpected things affect me so much because those are things that I can't control. The things I can control is how I react to them and how I let them affect me and my surroundings. 

I can also control my health and well-being. I have decided since these unexpected things keep happening, maybe if I change some things in my life, the unexpected bad things will stop happening and the unexpected good things will come.

 

Good thing #1. I have the most caring, thoughtful boyfriend ever imaginable. A Nalgene bottle because I have been talking with him about how important changing some things are for me and drinking more water was one of them. The flowers because, well, he loves me and knows they would make my day. He even COLOR coded the flowers to match the Nalgene bottle at the florist. I am SO lucky. He is the treasure and fortune I was always promised! :D

Holding Feelings in: A Mixture for Disaster

Hiding what we are feeling is something that alot of us as humans do. Holding in an audible "Ouch!" when someone stubs their toe. Swallowing a huge giggle in the middle of class when two friends are giving each other "that look" after the teacher had told them 3 times already to quiet down. Many times, people even hold back tears. Tears of sadness or out of anger. It's the happy tears that people aren't afraid to let out.

"Emotions that are repressed or expressed in unhealthy ways tend to create obstructions in the body, sapping energy and hope."

I know there are always going to be days where everything seems hopeless. Everything has gone wrong. Your toaster broke, then your car wouldn't start, and before you knew it, you forgot to brush your teeth, and then everything throughout the day had gone in the complete opposite direction of how you wanted it to go. I know when things are like that for me that I have NO energy, patience, or hope that the grass will become greener. My stress level also increases making it that much worse. Stress upsets the body's hormone balance and drains the brain chemicals required to feel happy. When you start to feel like everything is hopeless for an extended amount of time your mortality rate may also decrease! I don't want to die young, I have too much ahead of me!

Taking out pent up anger, sadness, or depression on the people we love are the ingredients that make the worst tasting substance ever. Regret. Once something is said or done it's out there for the world to hear; you can't take it back. The sting of words doesn't always become relevant to us until we experience it. This is something I have experienced and am trying to learn and grow from. Decreasing anger by doing things that are more constructive is a MUCH better option. Thus why this blog exists; and why I am trying different things to see what aleviates some of the emotions I feel. No one should be in fear about expressing to people how we are feeling. Chances are, they know how you feel and can relate!

Get out there and express yourself! :)

Venting: Good for You, Not Always the Best for Others.



Everyone has their inner demons. No matter how slight or extreme, everyone IS fighting their own battle.



Venting. We all do it, no matter how old we are. A baby cries to whoever can hear her when she doesn't get the things she needs. A teenager vents to her friends when her parents don't let her do what she wants when she wants. The college students vents to her older peers when she needs some advice about the transition from childhood to adulthood....

Right here and now, I am the college student who needs help. 

I thought I knew everything when I graduated high school. I thought everything would just fall into place as soon as I touched that diploma. That the right school would find me, and the right career would be calling my name. That all my friends I had been friends with for so long would always be there. That the love of my life would come into my life and sweep me off of my feet and we would live happily ever after. That everything would be as I expected and hoped it would be. 

REALITY CAME IN; And that’s when I got the worst check.

Everything is not as easy as I always thought it to be. Life is actually quite opposite. It’s work. And although I always knew it would be work, I didn't think adulthood would be THIS difficult.

• That school that was supposed to find me: I found IT; although I am not entirely sure that it is the right one for me.  
• That career that was supposed to be calling my name: It hasn't. I am thankfully working two part time jobs in hopes that I will find THE job somehow, somewhere. 
•  
• The friends that I grew up thinking would always be there: We all have grown apart and have become different people; Different people that sadly don't mesh together. 
• The love of my life that was supposed to come into my life and sweep me off my feet: I have my prince charming who is a wonderful person I can turn to with anything. But even in that, there will always be some flaws in paradise.

I have tried venting in so many different ways and nothing seems to work for me. I have tried talking with people about it, and it helps sometimes, other times it just makes things worse. I have tried ignoring it (don't do that, it only makes it EXTREMELY worse). I have even tried the good ol' counting 1-10 method. That has seemed to help a little more, but even with that, I can only spend so much time counting 1-10. It always seems that in the process of my venting, I am hurting not only myself, but other people around me.

I want to try and do something constructive with my anger, sadness, happiness, or anything in between. The difficult part is I only have so much money to spend on trying to do things that I think might help, just to find that it didn't really help at all.

After seeing so many people use blogs for different things, I am deciding that instead of taking my emotions out on other people, or other useless means of dealing with such things, I am going to work really hard at putting my emotions to words. Trying to see and find the positive even when the light at the end of the tunnel seems so dim.

I decided against a journal or diary because I never could be motivated to write down what I was feeling in those without feeling slightly ridiculous. Maybe in my journey of finding out about myself, I could help others out too. This is why I am choosing to make it accessible to those who are, or know of someone, going through the same things in life that I am.

I would never intentionally hurt anyone in the process of my dealings, but even in life, someone will always be hurt about something you are doing.

This is going to be interesting :).



Here is also an interesting article about what writing about your feelings can do to help improve your health, along with many other things! :)

Check this out!