College: The Rough Ride

Who knew the 'Rough Ride' in Roughriders would be so accurate.

College. The essence of the future and the vision of tomorrow. That is what I was always taught as I sat in my high school classrooms. Teachers would always tell us how important it was to go to college and get an education so that we could get better jobs, have better futures for ourselves and our families, and so that when the time came for us to govern our own freedom, that we could do so. It was embedded into my mind from a very young age to always strive for bigger and better things that I never thought possible; things that my parents never thought possible of themselves.

 

Now that I am in college, I am no longer wondering what it is to experience what it feels like. Rather, I am living it each and every day. No one told me I would no longer be able to eat, sleep, breath, feel, or even function, without college breathing down my neck. I always felt that I worked really hard in my previous schooling to be ahead, and for the most part. I felt smart and important in my personal schooling world, because I knew that if I worked hard enough I would excel. I would see the benefits that I worked SO hard for; and for the most part I did, and I was perfectly content with that.

 

Until college came that is.

 

June, before my freshman year at Yavapai College, and I am wide eyed and completely lost. I hadn't registered for classes yet because my high school counselors never informed me that I could register in April before I graduated from high school. When I got to the college, I felt almost like a kid who had lost her mom, frantically trying to figure out what to do, or where to go, to get help. I went to the closest desk I could find that looked  like there was an employee of the college working and asked where I needed to go to get started. She looked like I was asking the most idiotic question ever and motioned to a sign closer to the ceiling stating 'Admissions'. Down the hall and over to the right was another lady sitting behind a computer desk, keys on the keyboard making fast clickity-clackity noises. Maybe this lady could help me, despite the help I got at the previous desk. She looked up with an annoyed expression and asked if I needed help. When I told her I was a Freshman and had no idea what I needed to be doing, she asked for my school ID. ID?? Where did I go to get that?? Feeling slightly ridiculous, with the expression hotly written across my face, I told her I didn't have one yet. She took down my name and told me to wait in the waiting area.

 

While sitting in the waiting area, there were multiple brochure racks with various things written on them. Scholarship websites, Veterans Upward Bound, and information on other surrounding colleges were written in bold lettering. What felt like an eternity (and it probably was at the pace they worked at in that department) finally came to a halt when a woman came out, and called my name. She shook my hand and led me back to her office. After having a lengthy conversation about degree programs (what were those??) and classes that might fit for me, she sent me on my way with a list of classes I might try and register for. Still confused, I got up, walked out, and found the closest computer I could find. I logged in and navigated around Yavapai College's website until I found 'register/drop classes'. For that second, I was relieved to have made some progress until confusing boxes with course numbers and categories came up. After three hours, optimal confusion, and many closed classes later, I registered in 9 credits. 9 credits? What did that mean? All I knew was, I was registered in 3 classes and they started at the end of August. Before I left, I checked to make sure all my financial aid stuff was squared away. Of course not. With forms in hand for my parents and I to go over, I was eager to get out of that place.

 

After some help from a friend to tell me where I needed to go and how the campus worked, my first semester started. Quite a bit more work than high school but still manageable. I was content with the fact that I was getting some classes out of the way and felt SO much more prepared for the next semester to start. When registration for Spring came about, I was ready. 11:59 PM with my little paper with the classes I wanted and the times and days I needed in front of me, I was ready to sign in and make the frantic scramble to get my classes. It was first come first serve. But unfortunately, everyone else was ready too, and I spent a whole hour trying to log in at the least. The server was too full of other people logging in and out, dancing the same tango I was. After some time, I finally was able to register for everything I needed. 15 credits consisting of 5 classes. I knew what that meant now. I was apprehensive at first because I knew that was quite a bit more of a work load than my previous semester, but I wanted to try it.

 

Spring semester about KILLED me. I scrambled every single week to get my online and in-class work done. Homework assignment after homework assignment, reading after reading, and work day after work day, the semester went by. But then the curve ball was thrown at me; singing AND dancing. I enrolled in a choir class because I loved choir and I felt like maybe it would keep me sane throughout the semester. When our final concert came up and we were told we were to sing and dance to the Hairspray musical, I almost fell out of my chair. "Are you serious?? I can't dance" I said to my teacher. He chuckled and said I would learn to if I wanted to pass. Born with two left feet, I knew I would make a complete fool out of myself on stage. After intensive practicing alongside my normal day to day homework, the concert had arrived and so had my other finals.

 

I wore this poodle skirt that my grandma and I made many years ago for a different choir concert, this shirt I found at Ross, flats, and I couldn't forget the hairspray :)


 

The concert went better than I had expected, but, not by much. I blended in with everyone and my mistakes we not noticeable to the audience eye (Austin and my parents swear by it). My mistakes were noticeable to me, but that was okay because I knew going into it I wouldn't be winning any awards for my dance moves. 

 

After my concert, the rest of my finals came which created horrible, horrendous knots the size of golf balls all throughout my back. I became the hugest stress ball ever, worrying that I would fail all my classes and become a total loser.

 

I was completely ecstatic when I found that I had gotten A's in ALL my classes! Go me! Take that college!
 

  

 

They actually gave awards for good grades in College! I was back to where I was in high school, and it felt good.
 

 

 

Since the Spring semester, I kept going. I took a summer class and am now taking another full Fall semester, although not quite as loaded as Spring. My plan is to finish my Associates degree by next summer and transfer to NAU-Yavapai to work on a Bachelors degree in Applied Human Behavior. Hopefully it should only take me about a year and a half to two years to complete, but who knows what the future holds.

 

Trust me, when things get tough, it is SO hard to be optimistic about the future. It feels like you are at the dark end of the tunnel with a teeniest dot of light at the end of it. If college has taught me anything, it's that you have to be VERY organized to get things done efficiently. If you aren't, things are going to be very difficult, and why not make it easier on yourself when you know it will be difficult anyways? I don't know where I would be without the amazing support of Austin and my family. When things get tough, its okay to cry. Cry to the people that are there to support you. Most times, you will feel better about it, and maybe relieved. It's easy to become a victim to the self discouraging that we all do to ourselves. It is definitely hard for me to tell myself to keep going when there are so many other things I'd rather be doing. The thing is though, this time in my life is crunch time and it's not going to last forever. This is the time where I am learning to be an adult through college experiences and times. You don't learn to be an adult the day you turn 18. It's all the times I have cried and all the stress I have felt in the past two years that are helping me to see that I should have enjoyed my time being a kid. But the important thing I am learning now is that the fun times will come back eventually, and college doesn't have to be all bad. Not ALL the fun goes away once you go to college.

 

 All the work I am doing now will pay off in the long run and I will be better equipped to be an adult, employee, wife, someday mother, family member, and person in my community. It's never fun to see everyone else having fun outside while you are stuck inside doing the things you  have to do and not the things you want to do. But all the times I do stay inside and do what I need to do will pay off, I just have to keep focused and keep going. I know I can do it!